Negaraku Masyur

Diwaktu masih 'kecik'
bernyanyi lagu patriotik
Malaysia sudah berjaya
terkenal seantero dunia
terasa begitu bangga
sebagai warganegara
sebuah negara baharu
yang selalu mendahulu

Namun selepas itu
di abad ke dua puluh satu
negaraku masyhur di merata
dalam dan luar negara
disebut-sebut dikata-kata
dengan skandal kleptomania
paling gergasi dalam sejarah dunia.

Negaraku masyhur
imej dan maruah bertabur
namun tiada kebanggaan
hanyalah malu dan segan
sebagai warganegara
yang tidak berdosa
pembayar cukai dan pengundi setia
tetapi menjadi bahan jenaka
bersama bilion dana rakyat
dihabiskan oleh pengkhianat
dari kasino Sands dan Venitian
ke koleksi lukisan-lukisan
aset-aset hartanah mewah
sakan mereka membeli belah
seakan-akan duit mak dan bapak
para politikus dan kroni haprak
aktor bertaraf antarabangsa
yang dianggap pahlawan bangsa!

MRMY
21 Julai 2016

Blogosphere, Where Art Thou

It was about 8 years ago.I remember when the highlight of my day was to see my blog roll shift, signalling that there was a new post in any of the blogs that I followed. I would usually attack the link with a voracious appetite. Here was something that I knew would stimulate my thoughts, tickle my funny bone, provoke passionate responses. But most of all, it was connecting with friends on a deep level. The kind of connection one could achieve by a chat over a good coffee, all in the comfort of one’s own home.

I would always wonder what Ailin would be doing in Sweden, and how she was faring in her battle with pain; where Fauziah Ismail was and what adventures (and gripes) she would share; or what entertaining fad Ah Beng would share from his treasure trove of a brain; what epiphany of language and culture Bro Zahidi would experience. And oh so many, many more.

But progress is a cruel master, and like all roads lead to Rome, progress on the Internet all led to Facebook. At first I was ecstatic to connect to my blog friends on Facebook – to find out that they were in fact real people (I know right?), ordinary people with extraordinary experiences. It was fun to be able to chat with them at any time, to find out what they were doing, to see photo updates of their families. But soon, constant contact became something that was taken for granted. We became so reliant on instant status updates and real-time chats, that it became a chore to really have to think about what to write on the blogs. It was too taxing to the brain. And besides, who had the time?

And soon, one by one, the blogs started to follow the lonely path to oblivion. One by one, my blog friends started to stop the updates. And we didn’t even notice. Well. Mine stopped too. Gone was the deep connection I would feel with my blog friends. Gone was the quality of thought and interaction, replaced with quantity over substance.

But that is the path to progress I guess.

All roads lead to Rome, and all the Internet leads to Facebook.

At Last.. Some Respite

As I mouse over the sign "UPDATE RECENT MARKS" on the UMP marks website, I hesitate.. could it really be over?... My finger trembles for a while, both from lack of sleep and an overdose in caffeine...

Like a Gulf War veteran, vivid images of dazed days and sleepless nights overwhelm my senses... oh the horror... the desolation... the senseless destruction... the red pen in my hands bleeding dry, as the blood red ink pours itself onto tons and tons of paper pages...

Suddenly, I am back in my room in UMP... The clock reads 9:10pm... Way too late to be at the office... How I long for the comfort of the bosom of my loved one... This tour of duty has gone on for too long...

I press the mouse button...

After what seems like an eternity, the grades come to life... I blink in a daze...

I blink again, and comprehension registers...

I have given my students their due... Time to get mine...

At long, long, last... my nightmare is over...

Time to get on that helicopter back to civilisation... and a long, long rest...

Baby, wake me up when the next war starts...

Stepping into 26

Another year ends, another year older
Getting bigger but stronger, wiser yet bolder

25 was a year so full of life
As I was on my quest looking for a wife

Alhamdulillah, InsyaAllah, 26 would be the year
For me to say "Aku terima nikahnya"

And while I am knowing my significant other
I learn more about the person in the mirror

I am thankful for everything that I've got
All the rezeki and what-not

So as 25 ends and bids me goodbye
26 begins, another phase of life.


"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep." 
- Robert Frost

A note to my future wife

Sometimes you just can't help but to see life as a book. Some have nice covers but contain really crappy stuff, but they somehow end up as bestsellers. Some have modest covers but have powerful content, yet they lay forgotten and covered with dust on the racks. One book may tell a happy story all the way, while another tells a sad one. Some books inspire you, some motivate you, some make you wish you could switch lives, some make you grateful for everything you got, while one or two make you think that they are best left unread.

If I were a book, it would still be in its first few chapters (InsyaAllah). They say that the rest is still unwritten and I'll decide on my own how the story would end. I want mine to be a good book. A book for my children and theirs. A book that'll make them go 'I wish he was here to tell me what to write next'. But for that to happen, I'm looking for someone to share the remaining pages with me. To help me write the best stories that may lie ahead.

And for this, I'll kneel and take your hand to ask you "Will you be the co-author of my life?"

Oh my dear love if you were a rose

A million men would wish they were bees

But I can never leave you I will keep you close

I will provide you with all that you please

Rather, as your shrub I promise to be

Mesmerized by your sweet sweet scent

Oh my red rose, my wife-to-be,

I promise to be with you until the end

Drowning in Work

A lot of my readers may be wondering why the past four months have been extremely quiet online, here and on my other social media.

Well folks, truth is so much has gone down the past four months I can barely recall anything. It's all one big blur. Next thing I know, the semester is just about to start again, and I'm left with the question:

..."Where'd my holidays go?"...

Let me fill you in on some of what I can remember from these past two months:

1) End of term - marking frenzy to submit marks on time.

2) Was awarded post of Head of Department, in charge of a mixture of regular lecturers, engineers, technical staffs and part-timers, and not to mention the whole course students. Talk about hundreds of meetings (Government kot, suka meeting).

3) Was given post of Head of Secretariat for the Engineering Technology International Conference while still actively doing what needs to be done back at the faculty.

4) Teaching two new courses with new syllabus to be designed on my own.

5) To KL every other weekend, and go straight back to work the following Monday.

6) Was part of the committee that sets up the offshore programme with GMI, teaching in GMI every other weekend, and go straight back to work the following Monday.

7) Set up department workshops.

8) Involved in three active engineering research projects.

9) Started to prepare for PhD and prequisite stuffs like GRE exams.

10) Go for 18 compulsary courses for job confirmation.

11) Prepare claims that have been backlogged since last year - God knows if I'll get them.

12) And a myriad other things...

Had a tough time? Well, maybe after reading this you'll feel better about your life...

Sounds like I'm being a sour grape here doesn't it?, buuuuut I'm just venting here...

I actually LOVE my job!!! ;)

Reflection of Ramadhan

It is one day before Ramadhan 1434H ends.

I pause to reflect on the events that have transpired this past month.

So many questions come to mind - Did I make full use of the Ramadhan? Did I manage to get closer to God? Was there anything that I could have done differently?

And the answer always seems to fall short of what I want.

It is not the not eating and drinking part that I have found difficult the past month. The challenge for me was more of the other aspects of Ramadhan: having to avert my eyes at impure sights, avoiding impure thoughts (a big challenge here), and most of all, sustaining my supplementary prayers throughout the entire month.

But Alhamdulillah, I am glad to report that I did manage the latter - I almost always managed to pray and additional solat taubah and solat hajat after my tarawih, and an additional solat taubah and hajat after Subuh prayers. Of this I am infinitely grateful that Allah gave me the strength and will-power to accomplish this - something that I had never been able to do throughout my life.

Of the Quran, up to this point I managed to finish 13 juz... Though not as much reading done as my Muslim brethren who finished reading the Quran two or even three times this month, it is a personal best for me since my childhood days. Throughout my adult life (including my time as a student and as a professional), I had never been able to get past a few juz in Ramadhan. There was always work, assignments, things to do, too tired.. there was always something that I told myself, just so that I could justify not reading the Quran. However I do realise that I could have read so much more...

In retrospect, even though I managed to do all the above this Ramadhan, one single aspect evades me. When I think about it, I find that I did not do just that - think. I read the Quran, and I prayed all the supplementary prayers, but I did not spend enough time just sitting down, contemplating, meditating, just thinking about Him. It may sound strange to many people, but that is the truth that I concede - I did all those things for Him, but I just did not spend enough time WITH Him... Wish I could explain it better, but I can't.

To all Muslims all around the world, I wish you Eid Mubarak. To all Malays in Malaysia, I wish you Selamat Hari Raya selama sebulan dan happy stuffing in all the good foods (Jaga-jaga). May the preceding Ramadhan be the best you have had to gain spiritual enlightenment and closeness to the Creator.

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh.

25 years later...

Dear me,

Look at you sleeping. It must've been a tiring journey, coming out to this world. Well, let me share a secret with you: You're going to love it out here.

Remember that lady who first held you in her arms. That's Mak. She's the greatest. Although she might like to nag a little wee bit too much sometimes, you'll find out later that it was all out of her love for you. She's an excellent mum. Ah, she's an excellent cook too and her Sambal Udang Petai is the best, so don't be surprise later if you turn up having a little extra kilos.

Were you awake when someone whispered Iqamat into your ears a moment ago? That was Abah. You are very lucky to have him as a father. He is strict but later you'll see that he is your best friend. He always wants the best for you and he wants you to be the best. You might get bored with his lullaby one day. Until today, he still sings the same tune to your smaller cousins, and somehow, you'll find yourself humming to the same tune too.

Years later in your life, you'll get a little brother named Adli. Growing up with him will be fun, but do bear with his naughtiness. If he turn out to be too much for you, don't worry, just ignore him, in the end Mak will scold him anyway (Hehe). While others might resort to punches and kicks when they fight, the two of you will tend to engage in war of words. Age gap does not matter, although some people would not believe how distant you and Adli is in terms of the age, because you will still be close regardless.

You will make friends, the whole lot of them. Some will stick with you through thick and thin, some will ditch you half way. You'll have crushes, the first would be in the sekolah rendah, although I'm sorry to say that they will remain as crushes and nothing more. You will enjoy school and university life, and you would strive to achieve excellence, and you will achieve it, except for a tiny glitch somewhere in the beginning.

Despite all this, you will still have regrets in your life, and you will like to look into other people's window and wonder the things that might have been. But you must remember that you would be a very lucky person to have a family who will always love you, and to have friends who will always be with you. Never forget that He may not always give you what you want, but He will always provide you with what you need.

Hey, look at me blabbing about your future. I think I should stop now and let you discover it yourself. But for now enjoy your sleep. You'll have one heck of a journey to go. And I'm sorry if I didn't turn out to be like the person you expected.

Sincerely,

Your 25 Year Old Self

Time and flash

A lot of people say that before you die your whole life flashes before your eyes.

I used to say... How can a person's whole life fit into the split seconds before his demise?

But here's the thing about time - Einstein was right when he said that time was relative.

This would mean that 'time' as we know it exists in different forms for different people, at different points of their lives.

Heavy... isn't it?

Let's take on a few examples to help explain this theory.

First, let us have a look at a university student who is hanging out with his friends at the mamak, having a few drinks, lepaking, or watching the Premiership game on a widescreen TV. You can that for him every time he looks at the clock an hour would have passed without him realising it.

Next, let us have a look at someone who is fasting in Ramadhan and stuck indoors on a scorching hot day, not having anything in particular to do. The clock just can't move fast enough. He waits and waits patiently for Maghrib call to break the fast, and thinks that 30 minutes have gone by. He looks at the clock and discovers that only 5 minutes have gone by.

And that is how time is relative.

Now compress that into the the moments you have before the angel of death comes calling, and you could possibly fit in your whole life into those milliseconds.

I hope my life story can be a good flash.

Overheard at Bazar Ramadhan

"Roti John apa yang ada bang?"

"Biasa ada, special ada"

"Roti John special tu apa bang?

"Extra daging sikit"

"Roti John Cheese tu apa bang?"

"Roti John taruk cheese"

"Roti John Seafood ada tak bang?"

"Takde la dik"

"Abang, kalau Roti John yang extra daging tu apa bang?

"Roti John special"

"Roti John special tu ada cheese tak bang?

"Nak boleh taknak pun boleh"

"Oooo. Kalau macamtu bagi saya roti john ayam biasa satulah bang"



Tabah betul brother John tu.

"A crime is a crime", but....

This morning, i came across this news article on The Star Online:

USM Professor charged with making false travel claims valued at RM1,242

GEORGE TOWN: A professor in Universiti Sains Malaysia (USM) claimed trial in a Sessions Court here to three charges of intending to deceive his organisation by making false travel claims. 

Prof Ambigapathy Pandian, 56, who is the dean of USM's School of Language, Literacy and Translation was alleged to have committed the offences on Feb 10, 2010 and June 7, 2010 at an office in USM, Gelugor in the northeast district. 

The claims that he made were valued at RM1,242. 

He was charged under Section 18 of the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission Act 2009 (Act 694) and punishable under Section 24 of the same act. 

The offence, if found guilty, carries a maximum 20 years jail and a minimum fine of RM10,000 or five times the value of the bribe, whichever is higher. 

Judge Khairul Anuar Abdul Halim set bail at RM8,000 in one surety and fixed Aug 16 for mention. 

DPP Janariah Abdul Mutalib prosecuted, while lawyer M. Athimulan represented Ambigapathy.

My 2 cents,

To think that his life will never be the same again.

I remember reading such kind of news when I was still in NZ, they will not allow you to name the person like this. Usually they will only just say - a professor etc. I perplexed at why they would choose to ruin a man's a career for such a small amount of money (relatively speaking).

Take court action against him, fine him, tell him to repay the amount - not destroy his reputation.

In Islam, we are taught not to expose the weaknesses of our brothers in embarrassing ways. That does not mean to let him get away with crime. He is punished, yes, but accordingly for his crime. Reputation, on the other hand, is something you will never get back.

There is a fine line between wanting expose a criminal (which I totally support) and undeservingly destroy someone's reputation.

I believe this falls in the latter.

And to ruin someone's career over this paltry sum, when you leave the real criminals unpunished? Shame on you.

Like hekeleh

Wahai orang yang gemar mendengar lagu raya di awal puasa,

Korang tak boring ke?

Bulan puasa dengar lagu sama sebulan. Lepastu raya nanti dengar lagi sebulan. Lagu raya bukannya banyak pun, pusing-pusing lagu tu jugak. Apa takde rasa jemu ke?

Sekian,

The Grinch Raya

Ramadhan. Remdan. Romadhon.

It is now past one week mark of the fasting month.

I take stock of what Ramadhan has meant to me so far.

So far, I am on my 4th Juzuk of the Quran, which makes my progress rather slow compared to what my parents are doing ,which I'm sure is 1 juzuk a day (also, what i initially planned). Note to self - need to spend time to read more Quran.

Alhamdulillah, I think I am lucky to be able to pray 8 rakaat of tarawikh and 2 rakaat of Tahajud before Subuh almost every day. I know it isn't much compared to what so many of my brothers and sisters in Islam are doing to show their devotion to God, but I am doing what is manageable to me, and InsyaAllah, God willing, I will be able to step up my amal ibadah more and more as we progress further.

A very wise person once told me that the best way to achieve overall spirituality is not a heaped dose of amal, which fades as time goes by simply because it is difficult to maintain. The best way is to do what you can, and making sure you are comfortable doing it in the long run.

That is what I am trying to achieve this Ramadhan - Continuity. Istiqamah.

Also there is the matter of my chin... Before the fasting month it was on its way to shrinking, but after a week of fasting, it would seem that it wants to split itself into two again...Hmmm.. must be the odd eating hours...

Aw, shucks...

To Sir with Love

Sir..

That's what my students would call me.

A strange title as in an English speaking country, it would mean nobility, but in Malaysia, it is a title usually reserved for male lecturers or teachers.

I recently saw something which put a lump in my throat yesterday - it was a song from Glee. Someone posted up on twitter a link in remembrance of the death of the main actor, Cory something-something and I happened to hopped on and reached this song. And yes, I watch Glee too, and no, i don't think it is pathetic. Those of you who don't or better yet haven't, I suggest giving it a try and see what happens.

Anyway, the song was a remake of an old song sung by Lulu - 'To Sir with Love'. I saw that movie when I was a small kid, and I even though I could understand what the movie was about, I could not fully appreciate it.

Add 15 years and a teaching career down the line, and try revisit the movie. Or just happen to watch the song on Glee, and you remember what teaching is all about.

It's not about you.

It's about the students.

Because in the end, they make you.

As I watched the video, a huge lump started to form in my throat. I saw in all the faces sitting down and singing the faces of my own students, each with their own quirks and idiosyncrasies, from all the classes that I had ever taught. Each with their own lives and their own future careers. Each becoming who they are because I had personally touched their lives, and they to mine.

Then I smiled that i choose this career. :)

Always and Never

Always. Never.

What do these words mean?

Simple enough words - Two syllables, direct spelling to pronunciation, timeless in their application in our daily lives.

But what do they really mean?

For instance, two best friends, before parting ways to go to university, exchange a very teary farewell - they exchange gifts, exchange cards, each pledging to be best friends for always...forever... and that they always call and never forget to visit each other when they go back to their hometowns.

Of course this scenario is a girls only scenario. For guys the scene would be a quick hug, a few pats on the back, and a salute as the bus drives away... Less words, less outward displays of emotion, but nevertheless a quiet ache in the chest and a steely determination to always be friends, and never forget the bond brotherhood that had been forged.

Or even former lovers, as they forever part ways... The parting speech before they embrace for the last time, where each vows that they would always treasure the memories they had together, and that they would never forget each other...before they slowly part, turn, and walk away from each other.

The question is, how many of these always and nevers really do become a reality?

Or is reality the other way round?

When best friends at school/college become worst enemies because of something one of them thought the other one said...or because a girl/guy got in the way of the friendship? When former lovers do not talk or even acknowledge the other, and both not really knowing the reason why? Or even more common, when there are no concrete reasons, and friends just drift apart, gradually slipping from 'best friends' or 'brothers' to 'friends', and gradually from 'friends' to 'someone I used to know back in school/uni'.

How many relationships can stand the test of time, and claim the right to use the words 'always', and 'never'?

Perhaps that's something I'll always think about, but never quite know the answer.

Mark and Misery

I just had a student coming in, asking to change his marks...

Just 5 more marks for an A-....
Just 5 more marks, so the Saudi Government will not take away my scholarship...
Just 5 more marks so that I can continue to support my brother who is also studying...

The thing is... I liked this chap.

He came to class, did his assignments, scored very high for his coursework...but did badly in his finals...
He came, but didn't beg...  Didn't cry...

I just wish there was some legitimate way I could help him...
But 5 marks is still 5 marks.
If I give it to him, where would be my integrity? My trustworthiness?  My honour?

If I don't have these... Then who am I?

Demi Masa

(Forgive the gross spelling errors before as this entry was thumb-typed form my iPhone)

I now sit here all alone in this deserted lecture room..

My mind goes blank for a while as I reflect on how I had to rush everything to make it to this very spot.. Rushed paperwork, rushed driving, rushed lunch, rushed prayers... All so that I could make it in time to this research proposal evaluation session..

And yet, here I am... Alone...

As I wait, the door of the room opens.

I see a young man approaching me. The troubled look on his was clear indication that something had not gone according to plan.

"Mr Rusydi..." he starts, with a very apologetic voice "I'm very sorry to inform you that the other session has not finished yet... They started late, so we're going to have to postpone your session... I'm very sorry for the inconvenience"

"It's ok" I reassure him "It's not your fault"

He thanks me for understanding and walks away.

I'm still here... Alone... In this deserted lecture room... Wondering why Malaysians seem to have a habit of tardiness without realising the implications on other people's time...

Waiting for The One

How do you decide if the person that you are with will be The One?

This is a rather tough question I think, one that does not have a real solid answer. 

Do you list down all the criteria you look for in a perfect match, and tick them down methodically as you progress through a number of partners, and then decide who scores the highest?

Do you look for someone who can give you the security of a good marriage - good religious upbringing, loving personality, safe relationship? Or do you go on the wild side, and look for someone who makes your world go round, someone who makes sparks fly when you are with them, someone who fills you with the highest level of passion? Is that what you would look for in a marriage?

Of course, ideally, you would want it to be a combination of all the above, but what if you don't get all that, and you had to choose between the two?... 

Or would you let God help you in making that decision... In making impossible to make the choice, until The One indeed comes along?

In the end, I think if you really, really find it difficult, you'll just have to put your trust in God, and he will lead you the way... 

You don't say, if you don't do, if you don't know

One of the things that I often do in Auckland is to sit in a park or on a busy street and spend the afternoon watching people walking by.

Making stories about them as I watch them walk, jog, run, skip, cycle, jump by.

Asking questions like, where do they live, what do they do for a living, how did they spend dinner last night, what are their favourite movies, do they like chocolate ice-cream, how would they sound if they laugh, how were they when they were kids, how would they be when they grow up, where were they coming from, where are they going to, or even, where would they be in 5 years?

But never have I ever approached anyone to actually ask this questions.

Imagine if I did, wouldn't I know more about these people (although with bruises in my eyes for intruding into other people's business) so that I can appreciate them a little bit more rather than judge them in a blink of an eye based merely on their appearance?

How many times have you felt misjudged or misunderstood by others for what you said or what you did, because they did not know nuts about you? Why wouldn't they know anything about you? Because you've never told them. Why have you never told them? Because they've never asked.

When was the last time you've really asked a friend to get to know them better? Sure, some would back away when they're asked questions like that, but some might open up to you and pour her or his heart out. And you'll be amazed by what he or she has to say. And suddenly, this life, with all its complexities, would seem slightly, albeit as little as an amoeba, comprehensible.

Zaman semua orang tengah muda